Having the heart to help others, we often forget about helping ourselves on a deeper-than-normal level. To be clear, the reference here is not from an enabling versus healing perspective but more so from a mirror-imaging approach. It can be crucial through your personal growth and development journey. Now, there is nothing wrong with having a heart-centered for other focus, but if you neglect your own needs, that’s a little different – especially when our bodies are screaming for attention. So let’s do just that by starting with acknowledging those feelings that we often overlook.
Being triggered
There are times I get triggered by someone else’s actions, reactions, and mentalities (depending on the occasion) when they don’t line up with my own.
Knowing we cannot control anyone besides ourselves leaves very little room as to what we can do. We cannot pay the cost of anyone’s choice outside of us. If you chose to do this, it’s your choice and borderlines on enabling.
For example, someone else’s injury
Following a doctor’s order is a good idea for the bigger picture for your life and well-being. Right?
Say you have an injury and you make a public appearance for the first time in a while with your medical gear, yet your physically putting your body to a limit a tad prematurely.
By following the crowd around you for the sake of “fitting in,” you have to know what your limits are. Then cast your cares of “what others will think” aside.
In other words, if the crowd is standing and your body says sit down…sit yo’ butt down. You have to acknowledge what your body is saying to you.
When you are (physically) with someone going through an experience, and they make a face associate with pain, you may jump and ask, “are you okay?” when you know darn well, it is not as it seems. THAT is a trigger, and it could change the way you see the world around you.
Well, this was me recently, and it got me thinking…
You have to tend to your peace.
When I recognize my tenseness and want to “help” simply because I would want help. I have to (1) remember that the person didn’t ask for it and (2) be aware that “they” are not me.
Note: If the scenario is plain that help is needed, that’s a different story.
When it comes to tending to my peace, this is what I’ve learned to do…
- Feel the feelings! Then let them go!
That’s one way to acknowledge what your body is saying. When you do this, you tell those feelings, “I see you, and I feel you” in a bear hug fashion. Hugging those feelings is a way of saying, “it’s okay, I feel you.”
- Journal it out!
Write it all out – acknowledge the memory as well as the feeling(s) that come along with it/them.
By doing this, you are freeing yourself of ruminating thoughts and “worst-case scenario thinking.
Don’t have a journal? Click here.
- If you have essential oils, grab those too.
Disclaimer: I am not a doctor, therapist or medical professional. Also, I only suggest what I’ve found to be beneficial. Click the link for more information.
I’ve learned that essential oils are far more useful than making the room smell better; they have been helpful in many ways. They can be used to help process emotions, which in turn boosts overall health.
Suggested uses:
– diffuse while you write
– hold an opened bottle in your hands and smell as needed
– place a drop into the palm of your hands, rub them together, cup them over your nose and breathe the oil(s) in. (a.k.a. Huffing)
The oils I use for emotional work while writing are :
– Lavender
– Release
Repeat this process whenever you feel it’s necessary.
Also, be sure to drink plenty (meaning more than average amounts) of water to flush out any toxins your body is releasing during healing.
Need oils? Click here
Why I’ve learned this is important (& you can too)
Again, it all boils down to listening to your body & mind; it’s essential. And not worry about others and what they think.
This is another way of putting on your oxygen mask.
By not acknowledging those feelings and triggers, I learned I had been discounting how I was feeling and minimized the experiences.
My heart became heavy with regret. Those feelings and guilt were slowly becoming suppressed. – which turns to toxicity.
…man, that’s a heavy cost.
The tole regret has on your body
Scientists have found that feelings of guilt, shame, and regret are manifested when they aren’t processed healthily.
Not to mention your spirit becomes dampened.
One way to turn that around is by following the suggestions above.
Although healing takes time, your body is likely to experience a sense of peace. This peace may be something you haven’t felt in a while or for the first time.
Until next time my friend, be sure to acknowledge those feelings and tune in for more.
Have a great rest of your day.
Your words are always so encouraging